Annoyed!

Narcissism:  extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type (Google.com)

Self-centeredness:  too interested in yourself and not caring about the needs or feelings of other people (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Two words that pretty much mean the same thing, but at the same time, are slightly different.  

As of late, I’ve come across various people that seem to fit both, perfectly.

You know the ones, who only think of themselves, and feel only their lives matter.  They completely disregard others’ feelings and act entitled. 

They show zero support in something you’ve accomplished and yet expect you to support them regardless that they completely just dissed you. 

Never ask how you are feeling or what’s going on in your life, because it's apparent, that person just doesn’t care. 

I know we can all be selfish to a degree and its normal, but some people take it to the extreme.  And basically treat you as if you don't even exist, or more like they wish you didn't.  

All of this leads up to not wanting to be the bigger person anymore.  For whatever reasons why you choose not to rock the boat so to speak, do you ever get to a point where you've just had enough?  

Because biting one's tongue gets old and tiresome!

- Heather Carnassale - aka the Delusional Novelist 

Image Source:  Thecreativebridge.com

My 15th Rejection Letter!

When I mailed the original batch of book synopses and query letters back in June 2014, I honestly didn't expect I'd receive a response almost 8 months later.

Well that's exactly what happened today.

After removing the mail from the box, I noticed something familiar.  It was one of my envelopes with my self-addressed label on the front of it. And then I recognized the name on the return address as one of the literary agents I had mailed a synopsis to.  

And what did that agent say:  Sorry not for us.

Already sensing it was another rejection, my son opened it up for me.  But it's all good, now that I self-published my novel I feel it is what it is.  But don't get me wrong, I would absolutely LOVE it if a literary agent wants to represent me and help get my book published.  Or if an actual publisher wants to do it. That would be fabulous. But as I've stressed before, I'm a realist when it comes to the world of writing and publishing. 

And I've accepted that I might always just be a self-published author and believe there's nothing wrong with that.  Like I've said before, it's awesome that authors have the ability to self-publish their work and put it out there for the whole world to read. 

I feel very lucky to have that option.  

So I will stick this 15th rejection letter with the other 14 and keep on writing!

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist 

What Am I Waiting For?

Bessauer.com

So the other day I received my 14th rejection from one of the original agents I had sent a query/synopsis to.  I mailed that at the end of June, so it definitely took much longer than I thought to get a response.  At this point I had pretty much resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to hear from the rest of the group.

Which means there are six agents from the original 20 who I haven't heard from.  And I emailed four more a couple weeks ago and haven't heard anything from them...yet!  However, all of those stated that I would not hear anything unless they were interested.  So though I'm not technically folding in the towel I don't have a good feeling about them either.

I've begun to seriously research self-publishing and all that's involved.  I wasn't delusional (no pun intended) in thinking that self-publishing was done in one easy step.  There's definitely more to it than that.  But I feel educating myself on the workings of it is a must.  As it's looking more and more like the route I'm going to take.

To say I'm nervous about putting my novel out there would be an understatement, as it took me a very long time to allow people I know read it.  It wasn't the criticism I was afraid of, it was more because it's my baby, something I created and setting it free so to speak is scary.  But if this is what I really want to do, then I need to make it happen.

I've sat back for months waiting to hear from agents and I have to ask myself...what am I waiting for?  When it might be time for me to stop sitting on it and put it out there myself.

Oh what a conundrum!  *sigh*


- The Delusional Novelist

To Sequel or Not to Sequel?

In researching first-time novels, one of the biggest points I apparently missed was that a first-time novel should stand alone.  Meaning it should have a conclusion that wraps up a story.  No loose ends.

Well mine does that...sort of.  My novel can absolutely stand alone.  Leaving the reader to use his/her imagination on what happens next.  But pretty much from the get go, I always knew how I was going to end the story, and wanted to leave it open for a possible sequel.  Mind you, when I first began writing it, I was only writing it for fun.  Never thinking I'd actually ever try to do anything with it.

So without spoiling the ending, I felt there was more story tell, but can't really go into specifics for those that haven't read the novel.

Some people have suggested I write an entire different story and either nix the sequel or go back to it.  But what if my novel gets published, regardless if I do it myself or a publisher does, I would prefer having the sequel ready to go as well.  Just in case.

Guess I will add it to the list of how clueless I am in regards to writing novels.  But I'm learning as I go along.


- The Delusional Novelist

Been a Long Time!

I haven't updated this blog since January which is really sad.

But over the past year I fell into a social media funk.  I got to where I had no desire to be on the internet other than to look up stuff and read news.  I stopped tweeting on Twitter, cut way back on Facebook, and obviously neglected this blog.  Not sure what caused the funk, but I think I'm slowly getting out of it.

For starters, I finally tweeted after not doing so for over a year.  And I didn't say anything remotely interesting, but I just needed to break the ice and put myself back out there.

I noticed I lost a lot of followers which was expected.  Who the heck wants to follow someone who never tweets?  What would be the point?  But I perused twitter and started following some people that I wasn't following before, and some decided to follow me back.  Which in a way has now put the pressure on me to actually keep tweeting regularly.

Which is exactly what I plan to do.

I'm also going to update this blog more regularly.  And post on some significant things that have happened since January including where I'm at in regards to trying to get my novel published and what I've learned in that process.  *sigh*

So, my goal is to put myself out there and hope for the best!

-  The Delusional Novelist

Same Blog, Different Name...

For the past 4 years, I have been working on a 'novel' which has kind of become a running joke.  Because for one I never considered myself a writer and second I didn't know that I actually enjoyed writing until about 2007.

I wrote a little fan fiction for awhile and it was fun, but thought why not try an actual novel.  So at the end of 2008, I started it.

Well, its October 2012 and is that novel completed?  NOPE!

I could come up with lots of excuses why it's not done.  But here are a few 'legit' reasons.  The first being that I have way too many versions of it.  Can't complete a book when I keep changing my mind on the plot.  Second excuse, I'm easily distracted.  I always have good intentions on 'working' on the book but it doesn't always pan out the way I planned.  Third excuse, I'm not really a writer and think my writing is just not good.  Yes, I'm a perfectionist who is super hard on herself (excuse #765).

The last two reasons are why I haven't let anyone read any of it.

So this is where the 'Delusional Novelist' comes into play.  Because its really just me being sarcastic.  I'm NOT really delusional at all.  I'm a realist who knows getting a book published and have it be successful is a major long shot.

The running joke is that people that know me or who learn that I am writing a book will ask, "How is it coming?" or they say, "Can't wait to read it." To which I give my stock answer...don't hold your breath.  Again that's just me being sarcastic (which cannot be helped since I was genetically predisposed to it).

Anyway, I've decided to get serious about the 'novel' and see what I can do with it.  My grandmother, who is no longer with us, had some great sayings and one that fits perfectly right now is "shit or get off the pot" and that's exactly what I'm going to do.  For me to work this long and hard on a story and not put myself out there might be something I would forever regret.

Even if it fails, I can still say that I at least tried. And that's something.


- Heather
The Delusional Novelist