Annoyed!

Narcissism:  extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type (Google.com)

Self-centeredness:  too interested in yourself and not caring about the needs or feelings of other people (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

Two words that pretty much mean the same thing, but at the same time, are slightly different.  

As of late, I’ve come across various people that seem to fit both, perfectly.

You know the ones, who only think of themselves, and feel only their lives matter.  They completely disregard others’ feelings and act entitled. 

They show zero support in something you’ve accomplished and yet expect you to support them regardless that they completely just dissed you. 

Never ask how you are feeling or what’s going on in your life, because it's apparent, that person just doesn’t care. 

I know we can all be selfish to a degree and its normal, but some people take it to the extreme.  And basically treat you as if you don't even exist, or more like they wish you didn't.  

All of this leads up to not wanting to be the bigger person anymore.  For whatever reasons why you choose not to rock the boat so to speak, do you ever get to a point where you've just had enough?  

Because biting one's tongue gets old and tiresome!

- Heather Carnassale - aka the Delusional Novelist 

Image Source:  Thecreativebridge.com

What's Going On?

I've been slacking on the blog again.  My bad!

Mainly because for past month or so I've been completely focused on two things.  One, working on the sequel to my novel, Behind the Mask.  And second, trying to decide on a paperback cover for it.  

It's been crazy and frustrating at the same time.  The cover not the sequel.

The sequel is progressing very nicely and I'm hoping the first draft will be completed sometime in the next few months if not sooner. But of course a first draft is a VERY rough draft.  And would be nowhere near ready to publish. But considering it took me many years to complete Behind the Mask, I'm WAY ahead of the game with this one.  

Now about the paperback cover.  When I decided to self-publish, for some reason I was dead set on using 'eyes' on the cover.  But over time I've realized it's not really what I want to go with.  So after much debate, I've finally decided on something else.  That said, putting it all together hasn't been easy.  

But hopefully in the next week or so I will have it finalized and make the paperback available as soon as possible.

Keeping the fingers crossed!

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist

Fifty Shades of Grey - The Movie

Fifty Shades of Grey - IMDB.com

Let me begin this post by stating, I have read the first two books of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, quite awhile ago, but the third book is sitting unread on my Kindle.  I will eventually read it, just haven't done so yet.

Now to the movie.  I was looking forward to seeing it as I was very curious on how it was going to be played out on the big screen. And when the original casting came out with Charlie Hunnam, I was stoked, because as a fan of the TV show Sons of Anarchy I thought he could totally pull off the Christian Grey role. And I wasn't sure about Dakota Johnson portraying Anastasia Steele, having only seen her small part in The Social Network but she seemed cute enough.  Well then Charlie dropped out and Jamie Dornan was cast.  And at the time I only knew who he was from years back when he was a Calvin Klein model who dated actress Kiera Knightley.

So I looked him up on internet and found out he starred in a BBC television show called, The Fall, where his character Paul Spector, is a serial killer.  I binged watched all of the episodes on Netflix and thought not only was the show very well done, Jamie was great in it.  So I figured he'd probably be good as Christian Grey, though I know many who didn't feel the same way.

Especially over the past few months and more specifically in the past few weeks, I've read and heard tons of negative reviews about the movie and the casting.  Everything from how there was a lack of chemistry between Dornan and Johnson to how degrading the plot was to women.

That said, I never go by critics reviews, there are tons of movies I absolutely adore that were panned by many people.  Can't please everyone.  And I would think one would have to be living under a rock to not know what Fifty Shades of Grey is about.  But what I think some people forget is that it's just a MOVIE and not a PSA (public service announcement).  It's fictional characters in a fictional story for entertainment purposes.  If one is offended at the fact that there's BDSM (bondage & discipline, domination & submission, sadism & masochism) then just don't go see it.

In regards to the BDSM in the movie, most of it was eluded to and anything closely hardcore was shown in a way that wasn't too over the top.  And without spoiling it for those who haven't read the book or haven't seen the movie yet, there's only one specific time where the action of 'punishing' was hard to watch, but not because of the actual act, more so of the effectiveness of Ana's pain, both physically and emotionally. I credit Dakota Johnson for adding many layers to that scene and the character itself. And to the critics that stated Jamie Dornan wasn't convincing as a Dominant, I don't know much about BDSM but he was pretty convincing to me.  He sure looked like he knew was he was doing and portrayed Grey as being conflicted by it.

Plus Grey isn't supposed to be a 'fun and carefree' kind of guy, at least in the book he didn't come off like that.  He's reserved and kind of lacking in personality.  That's not an insult, it's just the way he is and I thought Jamie did a great job conveying that.

I believed the chemistry between them worked.  But I do know chemistry is subjective, so maybe not all agree with me.

The movie itself was beautifully shot. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson put a lot of effort into the aesthetics and scenery. The buildings, Christian's office, his penthouse, even Ana's apartment, had such great detail, that it was pleasing to watch.  Plus I also think the director did a great job showing why Ana was so torn about Christian and his alternative lifestyle.

There was a good balance between the amount of sex scenes and their relationship outside of them.  And honestly I felt the scenes were tastefully done, even the more 'adventurous' ones.  Nothing too graphic, though it was an R-rating, not NC-17.  There was nudity, more so on Dakota's part, which I give her major props for it cause she had to strip down to nothing quite a few times and that couldn't have been easy to do on a movie set and for the whole world to see on the big screen.

Overall, I really liked it. I went in with an open mind and was pleasantly surprised.  The supporting cast was good and the soundtrack is awesome.  The movie doesn't take itself too seriously so neither should the movie goers who choose to see it.  It probably isn't for everyone but that could be said for most movies.  To each his/her own I say.

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist

My 15th Rejection Letter!

When I mailed the original batch of book synopses and query letters back in June 2014, I honestly didn't expect I'd receive a response almost 8 months later.

Well that's exactly what happened today.

After removing the mail from the box, I noticed something familiar.  It was one of my envelopes with my self-addressed label on the front of it. And then I recognized the name on the return address as one of the literary agents I had mailed a synopsis to.  

And what did that agent say:  Sorry not for us.

Already sensing it was another rejection, my son opened it up for me.  But it's all good, now that I self-published my novel I feel it is what it is.  But don't get me wrong, I would absolutely LOVE it if a literary agent wants to represent me and help get my book published.  Or if an actual publisher wants to do it. That would be fabulous. But as I've stressed before, I'm a realist when it comes to the world of writing and publishing. 

And I've accepted that I might always just be a self-published author and believe there's nothing wrong with that.  Like I've said before, it's awesome that authors have the ability to self-publish their work and put it out there for the whole world to read. 

I feel very lucky to have that option.  

So I will stick this 15th rejection letter with the other 14 and keep on writing!

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist 

THANK YOU!!!!

It's been exactly 2 months since I self-published my novel, Behind the Mask.

And I'm beyond grateful to all those who bought it, read it and supported it.  Not that I was feeling negative, but I wasn't prepared for all the love I got for it.

I sold way more than I expected and though I had always planned on a sequel, the fact the readers have requested it have given me the extra incentive I needed to get the ball rolling.

I've been working on the sequel for a while now but hadn't begun to really put it together until recently.  And it's coming along nicely.

I certainly can't take 6 years to write it, that's for sure.  But I've learned a lot about the writing process and feel I've corrected the mistakes I made.  This time, I'm writing without second-guessing or overthinking it.  The best thing for me to do is first, just write it through THEN go back and edit it.

With Behind the Mask, I would constantly write a few pages then go back, change my mind and start all over.  I REFUSE to do that this time.

So again, I just wanted to thank everyone because though I didn't start writing seeking validation, it still feels damn good receiving it.  Ain't gonna to lie, knowing people enjoyed the story and the characters have made it all worth while for me.

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist

Image source:  Chaloner.com