Happy New Year 2018!!!

It's been a while since I've updated this blog...almost two years to be exact. WOW, that's bad!  I could come up with a million excuses why, but the legit one is that I haven't spent a lot of time on social media or the internet and spent more time trying to finish the sequel to Behind the Mask.  For those who don't know, Behind the Mask, is my debut novel that I self-published on Amazon (for Kindle) in November of 2014.  The paperback version became available in April of 2015.  That novel took many, many years to complete, and the reasons why were because when I began writing it, I didn't think I would actually do anything with it.  And because I was afraid to put myself out there.  It took me a long time to allow people to read it.  But, I digress. The sequel didn't take nearly as long as the first book, and I had a good portion of it completed a long time ago, however, I just felt it wasn't ready and constantly needed tweaking.  I'm harder on myself than anybody could ever be, that's for sure.

I learned a lot from the mistakes I had made with the first book and what I need to do with this one. Going the self-publishing route again, will alleviate the grief from literary agent rejections this time around and will allow me the ability to get the book out as soon as I want to.  The downside, I have to do everything myself.  There's no publishing 'team' to help.  But that's okay, I did things a little differently this time.  A close friend of mine edited it for me. Last time, a friend from high school went through it after I had published it and picked out some errors for me, which I appreciated greatly, and I know had I asked her before I had published it, she would have edited it for me (but stubborn me thought my editing was enough).  I was able to fix some of the mistakes, but even now I still catch some when I skim through that book and debate on whether I should fix them.  Or just let them be.  UGH!!!  Getting back to the sequel, having someone edit and go over it with me has been wonderful and what a difference it makes having someone point out mistakes I clearly missed, even after reading it a thousand times.  I also hired a professional designer to do the cover, which was so worth the price, because for Behind the Mask, that little pink diamond on a white background was created by me, which showcased my lackluster Photoshop skills.  I wanted the sequel's cover to look great and the idea I had, I knew there was no way I could have pulled that off myself.

So, I know I keep talking about the sequel, but conveniently haven't mentioned the title or posted an image of the cover.  I promise that's coming VERY soon.

There are a couple of other things I wanted to update in regards to my writings.  The first, I have my own website now called heathercarnassale.com.  It's not officially 'live' yet.  I'm doing it through Wordpress, which I found is not as easy to navigate as Blogger (just my opinion).  It's a work in progress but I'm getting there.  I'm one of those people that is determined to figure something out at all costs, almost to a fault.  I'll be launching it soon, probably before it's fully ready, but like I said, it's a work in progress.

The second thing, I'm going to do away with the Behind the Mask Facebook page, which most of you know I'm horrible at updating that thing. I think it's more to do with my love/hate relationship I have with Facebook in general than it is with the actual page itself, but I've decided that changing it over to an author page makes more sense now that there will be two books.  And my goal is to do a better job at updating it.

It's a new year and time for me to get myself back into the game!  Hopefully, my readers haven't given up on me!

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist

My 15th Rejection Letter!

When I mailed the original batch of book synopses and query letters back in June 2014, I honestly didn't expect I'd receive a response almost 8 months later.

Well that's exactly what happened today.

After removing the mail from the box, I noticed something familiar.  It was one of my envelopes with my self-addressed label on the front of it. And then I recognized the name on the return address as one of the literary agents I had mailed a synopsis to.  

And what did that agent say:  Sorry not for us.

Already sensing it was another rejection, my son opened it up for me.  But it's all good, now that I self-published my novel I feel it is what it is.  But don't get me wrong, I would absolutely LOVE it if a literary agent wants to represent me and help get my book published.  Or if an actual publisher wants to do it. That would be fabulous. But as I've stressed before, I'm a realist when it comes to the world of writing and publishing. 

And I've accepted that I might always just be a self-published author and believe there's nothing wrong with that.  Like I've said before, it's awesome that authors have the ability to self-publish their work and put it out there for the whole world to read. 

I feel very lucky to have that option.  

So I will stick this 15th rejection letter with the other 14 and keep on writing!

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist 

Taking a Leap of Faith

Stephsstacks.com

Well after much thought I've decided to self-publish.  As in my previous post, sitting around waiting is crazy. So I'm not going to do it anymore.

As a self-proclaimed unapologetic NON-risk taker, I've got to stop playing it safe and just go for it. So yesterday I set the plan in motion.

After editing the book yet again, I managed to clean it up quite a bit and removed another 2,800 words. Typos, grammatical errors, mistakes, etc.  Knowing the book by heart, I hadn't read it a long time.  So with fresh eyes I started it from the very beginning.  And I was kind of stunned at how many errors there were.  Not that I thought it was perfect, I was just surprised at the stuff I missed.  Simple stuff too.  YIKES!

Anyway, now that that is complete.  There's a whole process of formatting it to put it up on Amazon so it can be read digitally.  Amazon has provided a step-by-step guide...thank goodness!  Not that I thought I would just upload the book and presto it's available to be bought.  But I also didn't realize the little things that would need to be done with it.  So I'm totally learning as I'm going through this.

My goal now is to have it all ready in the next few days.  Then I will set my "baby" out into the world.  Hard to believe after all this time, I'm actually going to do this.

It's daunting but at this point I have nothing to lose.

- The Delusional Novelist

What Am I Waiting For?

Bessauer.com

So the other day I received my 14th rejection from one of the original agents I had sent a query/synopsis to.  I mailed that at the end of June, so it definitely took much longer than I thought to get a response.  At this point I had pretty much resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to hear from the rest of the group.

Which means there are six agents from the original 20 who I haven't heard from.  And I emailed four more a couple weeks ago and haven't heard anything from them...yet!  However, all of those stated that I would not hear anything unless they were interested.  So though I'm not technically folding in the towel I don't have a good feeling about them either.

I've begun to seriously research self-publishing and all that's involved.  I wasn't delusional (no pun intended) in thinking that self-publishing was done in one easy step.  There's definitely more to it than that.  But I feel educating myself on the workings of it is a must.  As it's looking more and more like the route I'm going to take.

To say I'm nervous about putting my novel out there would be an understatement, as it took me a very long time to allow people I know read it.  It wasn't the criticism I was afraid of, it was more because it's my baby, something I created and setting it free so to speak is scary.  But if this is what I really want to do, then I need to make it happen.

I've sat back for months waiting to hear from agents and I have to ask myself...what am I waiting for?  When it might be time for me to stop sitting on it and put it out there myself.

Oh what a conundrum!  *sigh*


- The Delusional Novelist

It's a New Year!!!

Happy 2014!!!!

I know I haven't updated this in MONTHS as the last post on here was from my birthday at the end of May.  Yikes!  That's bad blogging on my part.  My apologies!

But I can honestly say, I've been busy trying to finish up that infamous novel that I've been writing for YEARS!

And can FINALLY declare that I have completed my first draft!  YAY!!!!!

I finished it at the end of November but held off making an official announcement until I felt confident enough to do so.

The final length of the first draft was a staggering 133,575 words and 226 pages.  Which after much research on first novels do's and dont's, that was way too large.  It definitely needed major trimming. So, I managed to cut it down to 128,596 words and 223 pages.  Which was still too big but decided to print it out and allow my husband (who has patiently waited) to be the first person to read it.  He's an admitted non-reader so wasn't sure how that was going to go but he got through it and liked it.  Of course this is my hubby so I highly doubt he was going to tell me it sucked!

A few other people close to me have read it and given me their honest critique.  And the consensus has been a positive thumbs up.  So that gave me the confidence to go ahead and try to put the story out there.

I'm currently working on the 2nd draft and have gotten the count down to 124,342 words and 217 pages.  Apparently, a first novel should be between 70,000 and 120,000 words unless it's Sci-fi or fantasy.  And since mine is neither my count still has to come down.  But in all honesty, reading through it again I find more and more things I can eliminate and/or fix.  I've learned that editing and re-reading a story over and over is NEVER a bad thing.

Once the 2nd draft is complete, my next step is to have a professional editor edit it for me.  I've been mulling over the idea of self-publishing it on Amazon while seeking an actual publisher at the same time.  But not going to jump ahead of myself.  Taking things one step at a time.

I want to thank my family and friends who have given me 100% support in writing this novel.  Without their encouragement and faith, I don't think I would have ever finished it.


- The Delusional Novelist

It's Been Awhile...

Wow!!!

I knew I hadn't updated in some time but I didn't realize it was that long!  YIKES!

The sole reason why I hadn't been posting was because I've been putting all my concentration and effort into finishing the book.  And I can finally say I'm pretty damn close.

I felt in limbo for so long that just my word count going up makes me happy.  And I know a large word count means bupkiss and it's the quality that matters.  But when you sit at one specific word count number for months and months and FINALLY extend it, it's cause for celebration.

So as I inch closer to finishing it, the real fun will begin!  As I need to go back and edit the crap out of it.  And believe me, it's gonna need LOTS of editing. 

Am I still a realist when it comes to the book/story I've written?  You bet!  BUT I've gotten a tad more confident with it.  So we shall see what happens.

Stay tuned!

- The Delusional Novelist

The New Chair!

Okay the title is lame and doesn't exactly invoke the overwhelming need to find out why I would be writing about a chair.  But it's not just any chair, it's a 'new' chair for my desk.

And with this new desk chair, I am banking on it making me super comfortable and inspiring me to finish my novel. (I look for inspiration from A LOT of sources)

The reason for the chair is because for the last year, I've been sitting on a folding chair to write.  When I bought a desk for the bedroom, I neglected to get a chair with it.  So for awhile I was using a chair from our dining room set, then switched to a folding chair.  I have no clue why I didn't buy a new chair sooner, I'm guessing I just got so used to the folding one that I didn't think much about it.

That is until I was at Staples the other night.  We were actually there to buy my son a chair for a desk in his room.  And as I perused the various models, I found myself really liking and really wanting one for myself.

So I got one. And I ended up putting it together all by myself.  My husband is a carpenter and could have easily have done it for me, but sometimes I'm stubborn (okay I'm stubborn ALL the time) and wanted to prove I could do it.  Which honestly makes the chair all the more special, the fact I got it together without any help.

But the best thing is, I have a nice, comfy chair to sit on while I'm writing.

So the big question is...am I working on the book?  The answer is a shocking...YES!!!

- Heather

Hopelessly Distracted

I should just begin this post with a big old *sigh* cause that's how I'm feeling at the moment.

My goal was to finish my novel by the end of this year.  And here it is December 14th, 2012 and there is no way I will be done with it.  But anyone who knows me will not be too shocked by this honest disclosure.

So what happened?

Let's see, in my previous post I wrote about my Kabuki room, so you know I decided to paint (which also included a hallway and stairwell).  This process took a few days, being that I'm not a professional painter.  It takes me a whole day just to tape. And I'm a very messy painter and have various articles of clothing that can attest to that.  In fact, I have a couple pairs of pants that if you look closely enough, you can see every color that I have painted with in the last ten years.  The paint on the clothing also proves that no matter how much plastic or cloths I put down, I still manage to get paint on the carpets and floors. This recent experience cost me my fave sneakers too.  Stupid me just knew painting in them was a huge mistake but NO...I told myself I'd be careful.  Well, in typical Three Stooges or Lucille Ball fashion, I stepped off the ladder and put my foot right into the pan filled with Kilz primer.  If anyone has used that shit, you know it's thick and hard to remove from things other than walls.  So unfortunately, my sneakers met a terminal fate as even the washer machine was no match for Kilz.  :(

Anyway, painting was time consuming and then tack on another day or two for redecorating.  Both took me right out of writing mode. Hell I didn't even turn my computer on...yeah NOT GOOD!

Next distraction is the holiday season. Not that I've been out shopping much, but it just feels my mind is preoccupied with it.

Or maybe it's just preoccupied in general.  Hmmmmm....wouldn't be the first time.

For my own sanity and possible those around me, I must set another deadline.  Even though I'm the only one concerned on whether or not it's completed, putting a date out there helps get me motivated again.

So here it goes....next deadline is January 31, 2013.

- Heather

Frustration

I sit here with my fingertips hovering over the keyboard, completely frustrated with my second guessing and constant editing.  It's seriously killing my creative flow.

And as I'm staring at a blank page, I start to feel like Jack Torrance from The Shining.  No not homicidal (well not today anyway) but the part where he keeps retyping the same sentence over and over and over:  

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

It's discouraging when you know you have a story to tell, but not fully confident that you can actually write it.

Not sure what I need to do to just write without over thinking.

Venting on here might help.  As this blog is turning into my own version of therapy.  Which could be a good thing.


- Heather

Same Blog, Different Name...

For the past 4 years, I have been working on a 'novel' which has kind of become a running joke.  Because for one I never considered myself a writer and second I didn't know that I actually enjoyed writing until about 2007.

I wrote a little fan fiction for awhile and it was fun, but thought why not try an actual novel.  So at the end of 2008, I started it.

Well, its October 2012 and is that novel completed?  NOPE!

I could come up with lots of excuses why it's not done.  But here are a few 'legit' reasons.  The first being that I have way too many versions of it.  Can't complete a book when I keep changing my mind on the plot.  Second excuse, I'm easily distracted.  I always have good intentions on 'working' on the book but it doesn't always pan out the way I planned.  Third excuse, I'm not really a writer and think my writing is just not good.  Yes, I'm a perfectionist who is super hard on herself (excuse #765).

The last two reasons are why I haven't let anyone read any of it.

So this is where the 'Delusional Novelist' comes into play.  Because its really just me being sarcastic.  I'm NOT really delusional at all.  I'm a realist who knows getting a book published and have it be successful is a major long shot.

The running joke is that people that know me or who learn that I am writing a book will ask, "How is it coming?" or they say, "Can't wait to read it." To which I give my stock answer...don't hold your breath.  Again that's just me being sarcastic (which cannot be helped since I was genetically predisposed to it).

Anyway, I've decided to get serious about the 'novel' and see what I can do with it.  My grandmother, who is no longer with us, had some great sayings and one that fits perfectly right now is "shit or get off the pot" and that's exactly what I'm going to do.  For me to work this long and hard on a story and not put myself out there might be something I would forever regret.

Even if it fails, I can still say that I at least tried. And that's something.


- Heather
The Delusional Novelist