Class of 1989!

Tonight is my 25th high school reunion.  And to even type that seems crazy.  I remember high school as if it were yesterday.  Which obviously it's not.  And even stranger, my son is a high school freshmen.  I can't say I feel old per se, but the realization that I'm not exactly young anymore hits me everyday.

The every growing deeper lines on my forehead, and sun spots on my face.  That have occurred thanks to my own stupidity. When I was in my teens & early twenties I proudly and dumbly declared, "Never gonna happen to me" as I slathered Banana Boat oil with MINUS zero SPF all over my face and body.  Yup...I so wish I hadn't been such a dumb ass.  But at the time being 43 years-old seemed implausible.

I mean I know aging is apart of life and yes we can shoot Botox into our faces and lift the skin to make us appear younger.  It doesn't change the fact that time keeps chugging along.

Though I'm active and work out everyday, my joints harshly remind me of my age.  And I also noticed I can't seem to function as well with just a little sleep.  I used to be able to stay up all night and be fine.  Now a days I find myself tired and ready for bed earlier and earlier.  Ahhh the reality!

Anyway, tonight I will see old friends as I head back into the time warp that was 1989.  To which I have to say was an awesome time.  MTV still showed videos all day and night, our hair was super big and we'd spend any money we had on hairspray.  VCR's were still the go to device to record shows/movies, there was no internet, there wasn't a 24-hour cartoon network, nor cable On-Demand or Netflix (if you missed your fave shows and didn't record them, you were majorly screwed) and mobile phones were only used by the very wealthy.

But I absolutely loved that time in my life.  Of course now that I'm older and hopefully wiser, the mistakes I made make me cringe.  But even with that, I don't think I'd want to change it.  I feel blessed that I got to experience the 80's as a kid then as a teenager.  And finished off the decade with graduating high school.  Great memories, that no matter what life has presented us since, I'll never forget them!

- Heather Carnassale aka the Delusional Novelist

Almost 40

I remember back when I was a teenager, the age of 40 seemed SO far in the future that it didn’t even register a blip on my radar.  Well here I am at 39 with exactly 80 days until the day I turn 40.  And not surprising it’s registering more than a blip now.

I can honestly say I don’t feel 39 let alone 40.  But over the years the fine lines have crept up and creases in my forehead remind me everyday how I am not young anymore.   When I was 19, I use to slap on pure baby oil while lying on the beach and begged the sun to make me nice and crispy.  And my friends and I used to laugh it off and say, “Oh by the time we are 40 there will be an invention to reverse sun damage.”  How naïve were we?  Not only is there no real cure without some sort of plastic surgery even worse we never considered getting skin cancer.  But back then we sat on the beach thinking nothing of it.  I now have an ugly sunspot gracing my cheek to prove how wrong our thinking was. 

You know its bad when you find yourself googling Botox.  And would I seriously consider pumping Clostridium botulinum into my forehead to look like a perpetual deer in a headlight?  Well never say never but I ain’t there yet.  First off, I loathe needles so I’d have to really hate the lines in my forehead to go that route.  And second, bangs seem to do the trick too.  I will admit I have used the supposed “Hollywood Secret” called Frownies.  Which are little pieces of paper that you stick on your forehead or other undesirable lines on the face.  The kicker is, they do work.  After you sleep all night with them stuck to your forehead/face, you peel them off and there miraculously are minimal to no lines.  However, about 5 minutes later, the lines are back.  So basically if I want to put them on and go out, my time is VERY limited on being line free.  But seriously, the maker of Frownies states that desired results don’t show up until about 30 days after you start using them.  And you must use them every single night or day for at least 3 hours.  So being that I have an entire box, I will keep pasting them to my skin in hopes that one day I too will be line free for at least longer than 5 minutes.    

I do try to stay in shape and be healthy, with workouts every single day, unless I absolutely cannot fit one in.  I don’t exactly eat that great but thanks to good genes and being hyperactive my weight is at a respectable number.  I also credit playing sports growing up and still playing sports with my son.  Whether it shooting hoops, having a catch or tennis, anything to keep me moving, which hopefully will keep me young even if my actual age does not.

So as 40 looms, I wonder how I will be when my birthday arrives. To be officially out of my 30’s and considered “middle aged.”  Even typing those dreaded words makes me cringe. 

But in the words of my self-proclaimed 39 year old grandmother (real age 88) “you are as old as you feel.”  Today I feel 20, so for the moment all is good.